Forgive & Forget

I'm back in my kampung for Raya. Been here since yesterday.

On Friday as I was saying goodbye and wishing my colleagues Raya wishes, I had this strange sad feeling about leaving KL. I'm only going to be away for a week but somehow I feel as if I'm not going to see them again. It was an indescribable feeling of intense sadness.

I wasn't really looking forward for Raya anyway. I was even contemplating of canceling my flight and stay in KL. But then, my tickets has been booked. Nonetheless, I am still looking forward for the whole week of doing nothing but read books all day long :)

These days I'm in an emotional yoyo. I'm not quite sure what I really wanted. On my way back home on Friday, I called up a friend. I needed somebody to talk to but the thing is I don't know how to. There's just too much that I want to say but I can't or maybe I don't know where to start.

Told my friend, "think I need a shrink."

She said, " maybe you do. You have so many things bottled up inside of you, you're gonna burst one of these days. You need to let it out."

Maybe.

I've had some bad thoughts lurking inside my brain, a coward way out, which so far I managed to put aside. Or maybe cause as of now I am still sane enough to know how the bad thoughts going to end.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. I think I am paranoid.