Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Morbid or Suicidal???

I took leave yesterday cause I have lots of things to do..
Meet agent for my car insurance renewal, send car for service.. Bla.. Bla.. Bla..

Once everything's over and done with I went home, tired and too lazy to do anything productive.
The thing I hate most about being alone at home with nothing to do (actually I have lots but as usual I procratinate) is I'll start thinking about all my problems/issues.

I know we should always look at the root cause of our problems and try to find ways to solve them. But in my case, I hate thinking about them and I'm hoping if I don't dwell on them it'll eventually go away. Yeah right!!!

Thinking about them always have a negative effect on my mood!! At times I think I can't handle them anymore. I've had it. I'm so tired with everything and I don't know how long I can keep on pretending that everything's OK.

I am soooo in need of a time away from everything. Temporarily or permanently??

I was dwelling on a question last night..


"If you've been thinking about death, does that makes you Morbid??
If you've been thinking about ceasing to live, does that makes you Suicidal??"

Then I found this in the net this morning. I think it's beautiful.
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity"
Anyways peeps, I think I want to activate my anti-socialiness at least for these next few days or maybe weeks.
Was thinking of spending a time alone away from KL this weekend but a group of my friends is going for white water rafting in Perak this Saturday. So I thought why not join them right?? No rafting for me though I just want to be away from KL. The fake KLites!!
So I guess my anti-social plan will have to wait.

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